Addiction, another perspective

The past week has been an eventful one all around the world, the atrocities that occurred in Norway, where a crazed gunman took the innocent lives of young Norwegian youths and workers on Utoya Island, may they rest in peace. Another very sad event occurred this week under very different circumstances, where a well known and very talented young singer lost her life at the age of just 27, this lady’s name was Amy Winehouse, and she has been branded a genius for her ability to touch millions of people around the world with her dark lyrics and catchy music. A flawed genius some may say, whose music identified and connected with the hearts of many. In 2002 when the fresh faced singer released her debut album her life spiralled out of control in full view of the world, partly due in my opinion to the media circus that followed her every step. The ‘Amy show’ was so entertaining, that it was exploited to the max, lining the pockets of many a media mogul. This circus however was a very real one and due to a combination of drugs, alcohol and bad choices this young, exuberant, creative genius degenerated in front of our eyes.

I use Amy Winehouse unfortunately in this article although I truly wish I didn’t have to, as an example of how the pandemic that is drugs destroys many individuals around the world through addiction, desperation and the desolate depression provoked by the situation they find themselves in. You need only look back at some family members, old school friends or acquaintances who you may know, whose lust for the altered states of consciousness and different realities outside of their normal conscious day to day spectrum, that drugs gave them, (temporarily at least) became an addiction that literally destroyed not only their bright futures, but also their family dynamics, careers and themselves. This search for something else that drugs gave them or gives them still is a dangerous one, particularly when this search shifts from perhaps fun at first to when can they get their next ‘hit or drag’ of a substance of their choice. This can lead them down a very slippery slope where they perhaps lose their family, friends, career and turn to any means necessary to get their next fix, even if it is falls outside of the legal system.

I reflect back to the Amy Winehouse example. Should you choose to, you may pause for a second and allow your memory to return to someone you know, or someone you know personally or a public figure,  whose intention and attention was shifted due to this addiction that may have originally given them positive resources (In their mind’s eye.) What originally was the trigger that made Amy take this first step, in taking drugs to access altered realities? This is of course very speculative, we may think we know what originally took her on this route, was it a lack of confidence, boredom, the ability to forget just for a little while, creativity or following the misdemeanours of an individual they love or loved. One of the distinctions that I feel is particularly important to express is that it may have been none of the above. Even close family can impose their own content, their own beliefs of what causes someone to fall into this trap, is this useful?
I invite you to answer that for yourself.

Amy Winehouse went into Rehab on several occasions and each time a common denominator occurred – she left before the treatment was over. Was she forced to go? Who knows? Whatever the reason for her going (which I would like to add is a positive step) she responded in the opposite fashion and fell into an even more intense, more addictive state. This had disastrous consequences for her appearance, career and relationships. Rehab is not for everybody, different alternatives may be needed; it could be as simple as moving friendship groups, countries or even a house. I give full credit to anybody who has fallen into this trap and got themselves back on track and sought out other alternatives than substance abuse. Did they have to hit rock bottom to do this?

This is a question that does not have a universal answer; however I would propose that the most important factor is that the individual has to have a desire to be free of this way of life. If they do not have this desire then most of the steps you take will cause a polarity response.

Sometimes the individual may have the desire to seek an alternative path but may feel they do not have the resources to take that next crucial step on their path to be ‘clean’. This is where friends, families, coaches, doctors, experts and rehab centres come in. As a one to one NLP coach I would like to add that one of the most important factors is that one approach may work for one person and not the other, hence why I and this Academy seek to build as many resources and alternative approaches in our systems, so that we can truly be flexible in what we offer to that client, friend or family member. You have to be prepared and ready for anything, whether that is conventional Classic code or New Code NLP, Hypnosis, common sense, or just a friendly ear in support.

I myself have lost two friends in the past 18 months under incredibly similar circumstances; they were not rock stars, poets or famous actors. They were two normal people whose bright light was dimmed after exploring this alternative path to different altered realities, to enable them to move away from the issues they were exploring, which for them was just too much. The candle that once burned so brightly was blown out and the smoke that then dissipated from this flame leaves a mother and father without their child, a sibling without their brother or sister, a child without a parent. This emptiness and gap for their families and friends can never be replaced. How many other people around the UK and the world are challenged under similar circumstances and how many of these can still be saved no matter how far or how long they have been in this process?

Each abuser has to take account of themselves whether this be reaching out for help and in turn the family, friend or coach will be ready should they choose to, to guide them, and you do not need to reach rock bottom to do this. A friend or a family member can still facilitate a process just through unconditional love to help this individual, be aware of the resources they need and the choices they have, to be able to move away from this dark chapter, the pandemic that is drug and alcohol addiction.

Amy Winehouse leaves behind her family, friends, her fans and a brilliant collection of music, I hope her legacy is far greater than this, that thousands of individuals are totally stunned, shocked and saddened by her death and as a consequence see that receiving help or exploring other sets of behaviours that fulfil the same higher intention is the path that they SHOULD TAKE NEXT. I will always regret that I could not do more for my friends who have been struck down by this costly disease and I will always be saddened that they were not ready to ask for help as well, their deaths may have been cries for help though speculation will not achieve anything in my opinion, I hope that we can put something in place here, formally or informally at the Academy or someone who reads this article identifies with the message and questions I am asking in this text has an idea to guide and support someone towards another set of choices, whether this be one person or many. This will ensure and greatly increase the chances that another burning candle is not extinguished prematurely and this candle can turn into a flame that touches and brightens up many lives and more importantly brightens their own.

Jack Carroll has been directly part of the NLP Academy team since November 2009, though has been around the Academy most of his life. He works at the Academy on a daily basis heading the client services team, running coaching sessions and delivering some of our programs.
He is also an associate trainer at the NLP Academy and can be seen presenting sessions at various practice groups and courses.